Anorexia, you have controlled me for far too long,
Invalidating everything I have to say,
Night after night, making me go to bed hungry,
Convincing me that I don’t deserve recovery, that I’m not “ill enough.”
And the sad part is, I believed your lies for so long.
It’s heartbreaking to think how much of my life I have wasted trying to please you.
But here’s the thing,
I have come to realise that you will never be pleased.
No matter how many jean sizes I drop,
No matter how many miles I run,
I am never enough for you.
You will never be satisfied.
So, I give up on you.
There’s no space for you in my life anymore.
All you ever do is take and take, giving me nothing back other than pain and sadness.
I now know that it’s time for me to move on, without you.
Slowly but surely, I am breaking out of my shell, the shell that you have had my confined to for far too long.
I am finding my voice.
I am rediscovering myself.
I am learning to live without you.
Anorexia, it’s been one rollercoaster of a journey with you,
And I’m sorry, but I never want to rekindle our relationship.
We are over.