I need you to remember that a calorie does NOT define your worth.
The definition of a calorie is ‘a unit of energy, often used as a measurement of the amount of energy that food provides.’
Calories are NOT the enemy.
They are a necessity.
You can’t live without them.
By restricting yourself to x amount of calories a day, what you are essentially doing is starving both your brain, and your body, of energy.
Your body, like a car, needs fuel. If it has no fuel (food), it will have no energy, and eventually, it will start to break down.
Nourish your body well, and treat it with respect, for it’s the only place you have to live.
The calories you consume today, they will not make you ‘fat’ as your eating disorder tries to tell you, they will allow you to get out of bed in the morning, and to live your life.
So, rather than choosing food solely based on its calorie content, choose it based on what YOU want, not what your eating disorder wants.
If you don’t know what you want, it might be useful to think about your younger self, what would she want?
I am certain that she wouldn’t want this.
Do it for her.
Delete the apps.
Resist the urge to study the back of packets.
Face your demons for that little girl.
I know it’s hard,
but it IS possible, believe me, it is.
If I can do it, so can you.
One day at a time,
you will get there, I promise you, and when you do, you will never look back.
Make that little girl proud.
Show her your strength.
Prove to her that you are stronger than Anorexia, and you WILL win this fight.