Portfolio of Hope

Eating kale ‘crisps’.

Having spinach with every meal even though I can’t stand the stuff.

The thought of poached eggs making me want to throw up, but eating them regardless because they are ‘healthy.’

I ate what I thought I should eat, not what I wanted to eat.

The only enjoyment I got from food was when I had gone hours and hours without eating, and a bit of food entered my mouth.

It was like my body was appreciating every last bite, for it didn’t know when, or should I say, if, it would next be fed.

That was no way to live.

But now…

Now I eat what I want.


REAL crisps.


I honour my body and listen to its cravings.

The paleo bars I used to eat that consisted of mashed up dates,

at the time I might have liked the taste, but that was only because I had not allowed myself to eat chocolate.

The other week we had a paleo bar in

and I ate it,

and you know what?

I didn’t like it.

It did not satisfy me, and so I put it back, grabbed a bar of chocolate, and enjoyed it.

I feel free around food now.

Yes, I do sometimes feel guilty,

but I can truly say I am in recovery.

I am eating what I want.

I am enjoying food again.


I am living my life,

not merely surviving.

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