Eating kale ‘crisps’.
Having spinach with every meal even though I can’t stand the stuff.
The thought of poached eggs making me want to throw up, but eating them regardless because they are ‘healthy.’
I ate what I thought I should eat, not what I wanted to eat.
The only enjoyment I got from food was when I had gone hours and hours without eating, and a bit of food entered my mouth.
It was like my body was appreciating every last bite, for it didn’t know when, or should I say, if, it would next be fed.
That was no way to live.
Now I eat what I want.
I honour my body and listen to its cravings.
The paleo bars I used to eat that consisted of mashed up dates,
at the time I might have liked the taste, but that was only because I had not allowed myself to eat chocolate.
The other week we had a paleo bar in
and I ate it,
and you know what?
I didn’t like it.
It did not satisfy me, and so I put it back, grabbed a bar of chocolate, and enjoyed it.
I feel free around food now.
Yes, I do sometimes feel guilty,
but I can truly say I am in recovery.
I am eating what I want.
I am enjoying food again.
I am living my life,
not merely surviving.