Never did I think I could say the word ‘anorexia’ out loud. Never would I have thought it possible to confess that I am addicted to starving myself, that I get high from the hunger, that my greatest fear was to get fat. Never would I admit that my periods have never started and I care about that, or that I am overwhelmed with anxiety about the future. Never did I think I could eat a piece of cheese or a bar of chocolate again.
I achieved it all. I survived it all. It’s been the hardest fight of my life.
Sharing my journey online has given me a purpose and a structure, a reason beyond myself for getting better. Whenever I’ve felt ‘greedy’ for eating, or tempted to lose weight, it has enabled me to say: No Lisa, you’re doing this for a reason. You’ve made this public commitment and you have to follow through.
This blog is my protective factor. I don’t want to let myself down, or any of you down, and for that reason I will keep fighting. I want to prove to everyone that it is possible to recover from Anorexia, and I am determined to do just that.
I feel as though I’m well on my way to making a full recovery. I don’t think I’ll ever have a completley ‘normal’ relationship with food and exercise, but I will look after my body and live my best life, and I encourage each and every one of you to do the same.
So, that’s why I continue to share my recovery on this blog, my Instagram account and my Youtube channel, and it really does help me. I just want to thank anyone who is following my recovery, your support genuinley means the world to me.
Take care of yourselves,