Portfolio of Hope

When you find yourself in the grips of Anorexia, everything is restricted. The idea that food is the only thing ‘taken away’ is completely wrong, for everything from emotions to relationships are effected. Eating disorders are therefore about so much more than we are led to believe, for when we restrict food, what we are in fact doing, is restricting our whole life.

Food restriction might provide a short-term ‘high’, a feeling of accomplishment and safety, perhaps, but it is just an illusion. It is never the answer to anything. All it does is limit your life. It takes away who you really are, leaving a shell of a human behind. You become barely recognisable to your loved ones, not just in terms of physical appearance, but more so in terms of your personality. Gone are all the qualities that make you, you. You feel tired and fatigued all the time, with your mind constantly pre-occupied with food, because you are that hungry, a consequence of food restriction. You lose interest in everything you once enjoyed, lacking the energy to engage in the things that used to make you smile. All that you have the energy and motivation for, is thinking about food, reading about food, buying food- just being around food in any way you can. You are no longer living, not really, you are merely surviving.

You know what you need to do to get out of this ‘living hell’, you need to recover. You need to make a promise to yourself that you will not spend a day longer trapped in the cruel illness that is Anorexia.

Why should you recover? Because, unlike restriction, recovery will not provide you with a watered down version of life, it will allow you to experience your precious life in all of its full, beautiful colours.

Now, I want you to take a moment to consider how amazing it will feel to be able to experience life like this. To be able to go on holiday and wear shorts on the beach without obsessing over the size of your thighs. And, to be able to eat an ice cream by the pool with your family, followed by a buffet breakfast the next morning without feeling guilty for it.

Feels amazing, right? That’s because recovery is amazing. It will be the best thing you ever decide to embark on. So, what are you waiting for?

You owe it to yourself to go there, to start your recovery journey. Just take the first step. It will get easier after that, I promise you.

It’s time for you to stop restricting,

It’s time for you to start living.

You’ve got this! x

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