I woke up this morning, still half asleep, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my recovery, for the freedom I now have from an eating disorder that stole my adolescence, and so, I wrote a poem. And here it is. It’s called,
“There will come a time.”
There will come a time when;
You are not bound down by numbers/when you no longer feel the need to look up the calories of everything before you can let it pass your lips…
When;
On a morning, you can reach for the thickest slice of bread to toast, popping it in the Toaster without scrutinising the packet beforehand, just because thick bread is your favourite type of bread.
When;
You can accept the spontaneous offer of a piece of cake at your grandparents house, without feeling riddled with guilt for days afterwards, or feeling the need to “compensate” for it by eating less later.
When;
You can pour out your cereal without weighing it, going back for more if you’re still feeling hungry, because that’s normal, intuitive eating.
There will come a time when you can do all these things, without giving them so much as a second thought, and certainly without standing in front of your mirror, pinching and poking at your stomach
-your thighs–
convinced that you’ve put weight on.
When you finally
–bravely–
release the grip of your eating disorder,
and reclaim the grip on your life,
I promise you;
There will come a time.
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