A universal attitude among women in our culture today
is a
struggle-
a struggle against flesh
as we resist against our identity as women,
a struggle against Womanhood,
as we transition out of childhood-
Girl turning into woman,
we retreat,
a flat chested child no more,
into adolescence-
innocence turning into despair,
and then
into
Womanhood-
Fascination with one’s body, in which we live out our whole lives, turning into disgust,
alarm,
panic-
a bitter contentment
for the Feminine nature of our own body-
for the rounding hips,
(if only they were more angular)
the curved belly,
(if only it were more lean)
the full thighs-
all the qualities that are “too big” for an adolescent boy,
or,
a pre-pubescent girl
but,
for us,
for our changing,
growing,
womanly bodies,
are
perfect.
Not “wrong”
or
“too fat”
Not too…
“Woman”
(What does that even mean?!)
Our fleshly existence
is just
perfect.
And yet, our distorted perception of our bodies still leaves us feeling alienated,
Our changing body still feels like a stranger to us.
And, it is precisely because of this alienation we feel,
precisely because of our belief that we’re inhabitants of a body that is somehow “wrong”,
that we’re driven to run further,
to restrict more food,
to lose more weight,
to become an even more reduced version of ourselves-
reduced feelings,
reduced…
woman-
and ultimately,
to destroy ourselves,
all in the futile search of wholeness.
(futile because, we cannot become whole by tearing ourselves apart, it’s counterintuitive)…
To escape this destructive culture we,
as women,
find ourselves caught up in,
we can start by just being ourselves:
eating,
lusting,
laughing,
talking,
taking
living.
We can come to realise that our bodies are not the problem,
our bodies have never been the problem.
They do not need “changing” in order for us to be accepted by society,
society needs changing,
societies attitude towards our bodies,
as women,
need changing,
as does where we direct our dissatisfaction and depression towards-
we shouldn’t be directing our hurt towards our bodies,
but towards our culture,
towards everything that limits our development,
everything that stunts our growth and freedom of expression,
and everything that rids us of all the passionate aspects of ourselves.
Only then can we, finally, come to a place of self acceptance
for our natural existence,
a place of appreciation
for our power as women-
with bodies that are magical,
that can conceive and carry life
within themselves,
and bring forth life
from themselves.
Only then can we live in our bodies as nature made us,
instead of fearing our natural existence.
“Thin”
or
“fat”,
it doesn’t matter,
so long as we carry in pride the natural wonder of the human body in all its abundance,
claiming our womanhood,
rediscovering our power
and joy,
coming home
to ourselves,
retreating no more-
we learn to celebrate
ourselves.
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