Portfolio of Hope

Sometimes,

I experience periods of extreme

impulsivity.



Whether it’s wanting,

no,

NEEDING,

to cut all my hair off,

or,

whether it’s having a random desire to rearrange my room,

getting rid of all my possessions in the process,

and/or whether it’s booking myself in to get lots of tattoos,

when I’m feeling impulsive,

I just cannot not do it-

for,

it becomes something which I MUST do,

no matter what.


To other people,

it can seem so irrational but,

in the moment,

to me,

it’s the only thing that I can think about,

my brain becoming clouded to anything

and everything else

which is going on around me.


This is what impulsivity feels like

to me-

an all-consuming,

wholly relentless

irrationality.

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