Portfolio of Hope

A niche list of things I stay alive for
(in no particular order)

strong women, wendy perriam books, michelle visage, gillian anderson, laura prepon, natalie lyonne, jodie comer as villanelle, jodie comer as jodie comer, hayley hendrickx, phoebe bridgers, connecting with other women on the collective experience of womanhood, florence given, miriam margolyes, female comedians (especially grace campbell, ruby wax, selina mosinski-charity shop sue), women who work in a ‘mans’ world, gender fluidity/androgyny (cara delevingne/ kristen stewart/david bowie/harry styles/yungblud vibes), suits (tapered trousers, bra & blazer combo), men’s shirts short skirts (… don’t do it lisa… oh, oh, oh get in the action feel the attraction), nose rings, hoop earrings, silver chains, good perfume, women who wear men’s aftershave, untamed self expression/people who are comfortable in their own skin, women with an unashamedly loud laugh, strong accents, creative people, colour coordinating outfits, colourful shoe laces, chunky boots, a height difference (being taller than people), funky socks (especially if they’re pink), tattoos (especially hand/finger tats), unnatural hair colours, vintage clothes, curly hair, band tees/printed t-shirts, the queer community, rainbows, abba, the word ‘gay’, unhinged people, people who’ve gone through a lot but are now icons because of it, recovery, riverdale grange (& all of the beautiful souls i met in riverdale who i am endlessly proud of), the word ‘hope’, people who can drink and be happy and not turn into arseholes (or even better, people who can have fun without needing to drink), anti-depressants, neurodivergents, quirky people (& ‘things’), minimalism, passionate people, deep philosophical chats that question the universe and our place in it, the universe in general (stars, the moon, galaxies), reading in the sun/writing in the sun/generally just being in the sun (especially to see the sun rise/set), freshly squeezed orange juice, tan lines, hot baths, contentment, park benches, strawberries, bird song, hippie clothes, hippie shops that smell of incense, souvenir shops abroad with the randomest selection of stuff, italian food (& just italy in general- beautiful place), planning trips away, adding things to my bucket list, getting up early to go to the airport, eating supermarket sandwiches on a long car journey, pesto pasta, hotel dressing gowns, hotel buffet breakfasts, charity shops, woods/forests/trees, wildflower, pink lady apples, lemon drizzle cake, oranges, blowing on dandelions, blue cloudless skies, grandad henry’s garden, mushrooms, the sea, the first wee of the day, walks in nature, standing on top of a mountain and feeling tiny, the peak district, that fuzzy feeling you get in your legs after a long walk, the first drink after feeling absolutely parched when you can feel the water gliding down your throat, pilates, dark chocolate, colemans deli, spiritual people, people who don’t blindly conform/people who question authority, curious minds, intellectual chats questioning society and our place in it, glasses, people who don’t need glasses but wear fake ones anyway just because they look cool (especially clear framed ones), tote bags, nanna’s knitted socks, (university) students, people who have weird turns of phrases for stuff, dry humour/funny people who don’t realise how funny they are, animal lovers, kind eyes, old fashioned baby names, lambs, ducklings, kittens, puppies (basically all baby animals), pets with ‘human’ names, pugs, photography, photos that look like they’ve been taken on film, indie music, poetry, spoken word, blogging, hand written letters, nice notebooks & good pens, old postcards, the smell of old book pages, the colour yellow, gratitude lists, checking things off my to-do-list (productivity), routine, good food, having a takeaway on a saturday night in front of mind numbingly bad telly, sunday roasts with an excessive amount of gravy, crispy parsnips, rhubarb crumble, the smell (& taste) of freshly baked bread/pastries, hearing it raining outside when you’re inside and have nowhere to go, getting changed into pyjamas at the end of the day knowing you can stop worrying about how you look/sound/are perceived by others.

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