Portfolio of Hope

Depression is a funny thing
(Not really ‘funny’, but, you know what I mean)-
it’s a strange one.

The whole nature VS nurture thing…

Is it something you’re born with-
genetic/inherited

Is it learned behaviour-
triggered by external factors

or

Is it a combination of the two?

Of course, as is the case with any mental illness, the causes vary so much from person-to-person
on a case by case basis.

My take on the cause(s) of my own Depression, though,

that it is, undoubtedly, a combination of the two-

family history of mental illness- nature,

certain childhood experiences and struggles with my identity/coming to terms with who I am- nurture.

Whatever the causes though, I know that Depression is something which I will always have.

I know this because, I have been taking anti-depressants for 5 years now, but, the feelings of numbness are still there.

If I could change my life to not have Depression though, you know what? I don’t think I would.

As my running coach used to say if we had a bad race;

‘You’ve got to have the bad ones to appreciate the good ones…’

The same sentiment applies to our feelings, too, I believe;

If I didn’t experience periods of Depression, then I wouldn’t experience the ‘highs’ of coming out of that,

the highs characterised by increased creativity,

increased hope,

and, of course,

increased happiness.


And so, I don’t think that you can ‘cure’ Depression, no.

There is no cure for the condition of having a brain.

But, I do think that you can learn to live

(and even, thrive)

with it,

using it to your advantage,

recycling your pain

and using it for something good.

That is what I am hoping to do, anyway,

to prove to people, through my writing, that there is light at the end of the tunnel…

&,

to prove to people that, no matter how dark it seems when you’re stuck in the middle of it, unable to see a way out-

there is always a way out-

so long as you just keep heading towards the light-

always.

<3

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