Portfolio of Hope

Depression is a funny thing
(Not really ‘funny’, but, you know what I mean)-
it’s a strange one.

The whole nature VS nurture thing…

Is it something you’re born with-

Is it learned behaviour-
triggered by external factors


Is it a combination of the two?

Of course, as is the case with any mental illness, the causes vary so much from person-to-person
on a case by case basis.

My take on the cause(s) of my own Depression, though,

that it is, undoubtedly, a combination of the two-

family history of mental illness- nature,

certain childhood experiences and struggles with my identity/coming to terms with who I am- nurture.

Whatever the causes though, I know that Depression is something which I will always have.

I know this because, I have been taking anti-depressants for 5 years now, but, the feelings of numbness are still there.

If I could change my life to not have Depression though, you know what? I don’t think I would.

As my running coach used to say if we had a bad race;

‘You’ve got to have the bad ones to appreciate the good ones…’

The same sentiment applies to our feelings, too, I believe;

If I didn’t experience periods of Depression, then I wouldn’t experience the ‘highs’ of coming out of that,

the highs characterised by increased creativity,

increased hope,

and, of course,

increased happiness.

And so, I don’t think that you can ‘cure’ Depression, no.

There is no cure for the condition of having a brain.

But, I do think that you can learn to live

(and even, thrive)

with it,

using it to your advantage,

recycling your pain

and using it for something good.

That is what I am hoping to do, anyway,

to prove to people, through my writing, that there is light at the end of the tunnel…


to prove to people that, no matter how dark it seems when you’re stuck in the middle of it, unable to see a way out-

there is always a way out-

so long as you just keep heading towards the light-



Leave a Reply