Portfolio of Hope

person holding compass in forest

They say it’s never a linear process

but forever a work in progress

to have success

but I digress

because I don’t even know what that means.

Or why I feel like I’m slipping

desperately gripping

onto a sense of purpose

to understand why I’m living.

Make it make sense.

Make it make sense.

These thoughts in my head

eroding all commonsense.

I don’t get why I’m here,

living in constant fear

that I’m wasting my life

and what little time I have here.

I want to be happy

but

how can I be happy

when I don’t know what happiness is?

I want to be free

but

how can I be free

when I don’t know what freedom is?

I want to be me

but

how can I be me

when I don’t know who ‘me’ is?

Who I am,

what I am,

where I am

going.

Gone.

Life over-

gone.

A whole lifetime spent just trying to belong.

Life: be long.

I just want to belong

somewhere

that feels like home.

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