Portfolio of Hope

The monsters under my bed don’t scare me
for those I can at least try to understand,
I can at least picture them in my mind-
something physical,
a physical presence.
It’s the monsters in my head that I fear,
the type that see me feeling for hands in the middle of the night-
something physical,
a physical presence.

I just need to feel the presence of something,
something I understand,
to counteract my fear of the entirely non-physical.
My fear of, literally, nothing.
Something I don’t understand,
can’t understand-
the idea that there will, one day, be nothing.

It’s too much to comprehend,
the prospect of the end-
darkness,
‘nothingness.’

I need reassurance.
I just need the reassurance that, at least for now, there is something.
Something physical to hold on to.

Something that’s bigger than the monsters in my head,
something
that will give me some respite from my existential dread,
something
that’s going to keep me alive
if only for one more night…

Please,
just give me
something.