Portfolio of Hope

i feel nothing, intensely-
a contradiction,
a restriction of the ability to feel-
numbness that seeps into the deepest parts of me,
soul-wrenching,
my fingers ache from the pain as i desperately cling to a sense of hope
that, one day, i will feel something real,
something other
than this,
something other
than numbness.
still, i hold on
so tight
to the potential of things being different.
it hurts and i’m tired and i just want to let go
but still,
i cling on
to the hope.