It’s all about context and intention.

Take the ’N’ word, for example… Commonly used in grime music amongst black rappers for which we take no offence, yet if a white person were to go around brandishing black people with the N word, then they would be accused of, in their use of such discriminatory language, being ‘racist’ (and rightfully so, I hasten to add)…

As a white person, I would never use the N word (which is why I won’t even write the full word out) because, being white, I have no comprehension of what racism is like- I empathise with the experience as someone who has also faced marginalisation in terms of other aspects of my identity (neurodivergence, sexuality), but I can’t pretend, nor would I want to pretend, that I have first-hand experience of racism… Of course, I’ve read the history books regarding the slave trade etc, but I cannot personally relate to that experience/it is not my story to tell. And so, to use the N word knowing all of this would be incredibly ignorant of me and a prime example of white privilege.

Where the use of the N word is steeped in history of racism and white supremacy/abuse of power, we have to be aware of how loaded a word it is, and the offense that using it, in the wrong context, can have.

Black people have essentially ‘reclaimed’ the word in their own community though and, today, use it as a source of empowerment… 

Whereas THEY once used it to berate us, WE now use it to empower ourselves…’

And, the same applies with any marginalised group. The LGBTQ+ community, for example, who were previously tarnished with words intended to offend, condemn, and berate, have now reclaimed those words for their own, positive, use. 

Again, doing so as a source of empowerment, reclaiming what they used against us FOR us- taking back what is ours… 

Because, when you can stand up and say 
‘Yes, I am a raging lezza, fag, dyke, all of the above, and I LOVE it.’ 
‘So what?’
‘Your point is?’
Any power that they had over you in using those words is suddenly 
gone… 
For, if you are unreactive to their intended abuse, then they will quickly get bored (it’s retaliation they want- precisely how bullying works. Don’t retaliate, don’t stoop to their level, and they will soon move on)…

Where words are just words, language merely a social construct, the meaning of words are devised only via the meaning we attach to them. Remove the meaning, create our own meaning, and we remove the power they have to offend, hurt, humiliate.

Just consider the word ‘lesbian’ for proof that the power of words lies in the meaning WE attach to them… 

Lesbian: denoting or relating to women who are sexually or romantically attracted exclusively to other women, or to sexual attraction or activity between women.

( ^ The Oxford Dictionary definition).

Evidently not a slur, but a sexual orientation denoting women who are only sexually attracted to women, but something that has historically been used, at least writing from my own experience, in schools as a bullying tactic (like the word ‘gay’, used as an insult amongst pre-teens). The literal meaning of the words ‘gay’ and ‘’lesbian’ though are no more insulting than the word straight (that is, not offensive at all). It is the intention behind using those words that, in some cases, can be offensive depending on the context in which they are used.

It’s alllll about the context, always.

A queer party using words such as ‘dyke’ and ‘fag’ in their promotional material is not the same as your homophobic grandad referring to you as a ‘faggot’ when he finds out you’re gay. The intention of the former being about empowerment, VS the intention of the latter being about discrimination…

And so, I can understand why it would cause offence in people when being thrown around out of context, hence why I won’t stop reiterating the fact that

CONTEXT

IS

EVERYTHING.