The Madonna/Whore Complex, introduced by the founder of psychoanalysis no less, Sigmund Freud, denotes polarised perceptions of women as either “good” Madonnas who are sweet and innocent (women who men admire and respect), or as “bad” whores who are promiscuous and immoral (women who men disrespect).
Of the understanding that the Madonna and the whore cannot merge, (it’s a case of either/or), in taking on the caring responsibilities — cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc — the Madonna becomes a motherly figure. This is what Freud believes causes men’s sexual desire to waver in committed relationships, because they feel out of control when the mother figure has more authority and dominance than him, thus posing a threat to the patriarchy.
Freud theorised that men with the Madonna/Whore Complex are unable to sustain feelings of sexual arousal for their partner because they cannot separate their romantic emotions for their partner and their loving feelings for their mother.
This is why married men cheat on their wives. It’s why they turn to sex workers, paying prostitutes for sex while their wives cook them dinner at home because, paradoxically, they respect their wives too much to be sexually attracted to them, Freud argues.
In contrast, the whore is viewed from the perspective of a fatherly role, almost.
Men are not attracted to ‘motherly’ figures, but they often are attracted to women whom they can treat like their ‘daughters’, in the sense that they feel as though they are granted a sense of superiority over them, where they are in a position of dominance, and in control.
Perceiving ‘whores’ to be unintelligent and inferior, men feel like they can exert greater dominance and control over such women, hence why they are attracted to them… Hence why, even when their cup is overflowing, they still take from ours, until we are left with nothing.
Ultimately, the question though is…
‘Why can’t women be both respected and desired?’
Where men love they have no desire and where they desire they cannot love
– Sigmund Freud.
Love or lust,
‘beauty or brains’,
saint or slut.
A relationship can be loving or erotic, but never both.
The reason?
It’s all about control.
A surefire way to uphold the patriarchy, subscribing to blatant misogyny where women are viewed as ‘lesser than’, such (non-consensual) power dynamics are upheld in every area of a woman’s life, from their working relationships where men overwhelmingly feel threatened by a woman’s position in the workplace, to romantic relationships, where men are always the giver, and women are always the taker…
It’s where the phrase ‘lie back and think of England’ comes from, because women have historically been expected to just ‘take’ what is given to them, all the while suppressing their own desires and feelings in order to perform their perceived societal role, (that is, to ‘serve’ men)…
Men enjoy it, women put up with it, ‘it’s just our duty’, no questions asked…
It’s why rape within marriage, up until 1991, wasn’t a prosecutable offence. In fact, prior to 1991, rape within marriage wasn’t even deemed possible, the assumption very much being there that women were the property of men. So much so that a woman’s father was (/is) expected to give his daughter away, exchanging his ‘ownership’ over to her husband because…
How else could a woman possibly exist without a man’s support?
And this is the point…
Society wants to make it impossible for women to exist without a man’s support…
Whereas married women were granted the right to vote in 1918, unmarried women didn’t have those same rights granted until over a decade later, in 1930.
Proof that when women don’t have men by their side, they lose out.
Women are constantly losing out…
Alas, women can take comfort in knowing the truth.
Women can take comfort in the knowledge that…
Every woman who has ever been told that she is ‘lesser than’ literally birthed every man who tells her that she is so…
Can’t you see?
Men have to stay delusional because our power is too much of a threat.
On ‘Mother’ Earth, women are the vessel that houses all life, what could ever be more powerful than that?
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