From the moment they are born, boys and girls are told who they are and who/what they should be, thus creating a society of men and women where a stark divide exists. This divide is heavily prevalent when it comes to processing our emotions.
Phrases such as ‘man up’ arise in response to stereotypes surrounding gender roles and expectations, where boys are shamed for crying, ‘I’ll give you something to cry about.’ Far too many men see violence as the ‘cure’ for what they perceive to be a weakness. This completely contrasts attitudes towards emotions in girls who are encouraged to be open in showing how they feel.
Such double standards are stark.
Boys are socialised to be tough and to strive to be in power (to dominate), whereas girls are socialised to be dependent and submissive, albeit often covertly.
The type of toys that children are given- toy soldiers and guns for boys, barbie princesses and dolls for girls, for example, only serve to feed into this ideal.
Boys = Ruthless & Aggressive.
Girls = Caring & Nurturing.
Perceived to have greater authority than women, men get to decide whether a woman’s complaints are plausible, hence why so many women feel like they aren’t taken seriously; ‘it’s just another hysterical woman.’ It is for this reason that doctors, of which, as of 2019, two in three consultants are men, are so quick to medicate women with antidepressants and/or antipsychotics.
Borderline personality disorder, for example, is diagnosed at a ratio of 3:1, where 75% of individuals with BPD are women.
Likewise, judges are quick to hand out sentences to men, as proven in this study, where 85% of the people arrested were men…
Neither doctors nor judges, however, stop to consider, let alone question, the reasoning behind the rise in mental ill health amongst women, and the rise in crime amongst men.
This means that people in their droves are being medicated through the health system, and punished through the (in)justice system, without anyone ever understanding the reasoning behind their behaviour.
The overarching question that we should be asking ourselves then is…
‘Why are so many women being diagnosed as mentally ill, and so many men being labelled as criminals in our society?…’
Disconnection.
Despite us seemingly being more connected than ever what with the influx of social media, as a society we are, in fact, lonelier than ever before.
Being reachable 24/7 means nothing when it is a fake connection.
Having 500 friends on Facebook, or 3000 followers on Instagram means nothing when you have no one to turn to in real life when you’re struggling.
Social media is an artificial connection, and its downfall is our collective downfall when we believe that what we see is real.
A ‘picture perfect’ life presented to us in squares on an Instagram feed does nothing to help us when we feel like we’re ‘lacking’ in life. We know that it means nothing, yet we buy into the illusion of perfectionism that it enforces, all the while berating ourselves for not being able to attain the unattainable.
Alas, ‘What is going wrong?’, we should be asking, not only ourselves but also the people in power- the politicians and the leaders- who have the capacity to make a change.
When are people going to stop and take note of the real problem, whereby mental ill health and a tendency to criminality are just the symptoms/the products, of a sick society?…
You can’t stick a plaster over a broken heart and expect it to mend.
Portfolio of Hope 